Drunken Baptists

My dad, (who wasn’t much of a church goer), used to tease my mom and I, and the rest of the family too, calling us “drunken Baptists.”

I thought perhaps he didn’t like our singing, because he mostly made this comment when we would gather around the piano or my Uncle Arthur’s guitar and unite in chorus.

I had to think of Dad after reading this joke:

Hymn #365

A southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”

Sermon complete, he then sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, Shall We Gather at the River.”

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1 Response

  1. I grew up in a Southern Baptist home and after going off to college, and becoming a little more worldly, I announced to my Mom & Dad that I had finally learned the difference between Baptists and Episcopalians. They asked what was that to which I replied, “Baptists don’t drink in groups.”

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